i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
