my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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