Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
