Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
