I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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