...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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