I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
