i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
