6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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