I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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