You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
