Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
being pregnant is like rehab
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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