i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
