Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
