she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
