if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
