He is such a slut. More and more my type.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
