I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
