you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
its liver damage thursday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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