ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
