I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
