everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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