careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
