at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
