My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
