Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize