I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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