I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He has the fingertips of a God
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
