HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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