GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
