We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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