Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
