You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it because I queefed?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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