just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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