took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
