Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize