pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He shit in the fireplace
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
