Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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