the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
