Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
