We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
