So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
