What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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