Swine flu. Run for my life!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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