so that wasnt chicken after all
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
