people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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