just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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