and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
