fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
