I feel great
I just peed on a car
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
