Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
