It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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