The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
