wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
