her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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