dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
