she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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