I can tuck mytits in my pants
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize