Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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