I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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