You really coming over, don't trick.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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