i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
