he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
