If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
