Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
